I Hate Feeling This Way.

well, today is Handy's birthday.

we did the party, very weellllll! \m/

THE PARTY ROCKSSSS!

we gave him birthday cake, and punched him with flour. it was totally fun.

but there're two things that disturb my mind, and feeling too.

1. we didn't clean up the floor which was soooo dirty because of the flour and the cake we had been playing with.

2. we missed someone, Randy. yes, he actually wanted to join the party, but we just forgot about him. and that's what I feel guilty about.

what I've been thinking about is I'm not totally in fault.

1. we've told him that the party was held in the end of the school.

2. we're in hurry, because my friends are going to the course.

3. he didn't see us, working with it. that's one of his behaviours I don't like. he didn't care with the surroundings.

4. he's immature. he hates us because of just this simple problem. well, I know it hurts a lot - not telling him that the party has started - but, please, you could join directly when you saw the party. that's not a problem for us.

5. it's just not that we forgot, it's just YOU who didn't see everything we did. we're ready for the party. we don't have time to wait anymore. oh, please.

well, I got other reasons why I'm in fault.

1. well, okay, the fact, I forgot him.

2. I didn't say sorry to him, directly, I wanted to, but I was too scared that you've hated me already. yes, I'M CHICKEN.

3. damn, hell, yeah. I forgot him, again. I know that he supposed to be there, on the party, laughed with us.

4. and again, I forgot him. :(

I hate feeling this way, guilty, there's something in my heart, and I wanna burst it out.

and yeah, WE DIDN'T CLEAN UP THE FLOOR!

I'm afraid that the teachers are going to be mad on us, and they would think that we're bad-students.

and in the end, I'm going to hate that school more and more.

so, I guess, I need the scholarship. :l

oh, God, once again, if you think that I'm ready for this scholarship - and I hope You think so -, please lemme go. I'm so ouutttt of this place. :(

so, it was fun, but not that fun.

I hate feeling this way! :(