so, these days I got MANY TESTS, they're about 5 tests on this week, and I'm dying.

because of those tests and my laziness, I get a new 'beautiful' habit : no studying at home.

I keep studying on the test days at school and I guess that's a new bad habit of mine. bz!

and surprisingly, it works a lot!

I can do the test constantly well. I guess I'll continue my 'new' habit until bad things happen.

so, for the scholarship, ZERO HOPE!

today is almost the end of the September, but I get ZERO information about my passing. :((

I've never hoped too much about something, and when I came to hope to this scholarship, I failed. guess I learn something from this. :(

then, I would continue my life, my shit and stupid life. I hope I can start a new brand life in Singapore, but I failed. bz.

school is the only one reason why I keep saying 'F*CK MY LIFE!'.

I do appreaciate music so much, so this is a list about musicians who will live forever in everybody's heart. :)

1. Michael Jackson

2. Elvis Presley

3. John Mayer

4. Bon Jovi

5. Michael Learns To Rock

6. John Travolta

7. Mariah Carey

8. Madonna

9. Celine Dion

10. Westlife

I grew up with their songs.

and there are more than 10 musicians who will last in everybody's heart.

yes, I can't post all of them here. :P

so, enjoy! :)

well, today is Handy's birthday.

we did the party, very weellllll! \m/

THE PARTY ROCKSSSS!

we gave him birthday cake, and punched him with flour. it was totally fun.

but there're two things that disturb my mind, and feeling too.

1. we didn't clean up the floor which was soooo dirty because of the flour and the cake we had been playing with.

2. we missed someone, Randy. yes, he actually wanted to join the party, but we just forgot about him. and that's what I feel guilty about.

what I've been thinking about is I'm not totally in fault.

1. we've told him that the party was held in the end of the school.

2. we're in hurry, because my friends are going to the course.

3. he didn't see us, working with it. that's one of his behaviours I don't like. he didn't care with the surroundings.

4. he's immature. he hates us because of just this simple problem. well, I know it hurts a lot - not telling him that the party has started - but, please, you could join directly when you saw the party. that's not a problem for us.

5. it's just not that we forgot, it's just YOU who didn't see everything we did. we're ready for the party. we don't have time to wait anymore. oh, please.

well, I got other reasons why I'm in fault.

1. well, okay, the fact, I forgot him.

2. I didn't say sorry to him, directly, I wanted to, but I was too scared that you've hated me already. yes, I'M CHICKEN.

3. damn, hell, yeah. I forgot him, again. I know that he supposed to be there, on the party, laughed with us.

4. and again, I forgot him. :(

I hate feeling this way, guilty, there's something in my heart, and I wanna burst it out.

and yeah, WE DIDN'T CLEAN UP THE FLOOR!

I'm afraid that the teachers are going to be mad on us, and they would think that we're bad-students.

and in the end, I'm going to hate that school more and more.

so, I guess, I need the scholarship. :l

oh, God, once again, if you think that I'm ready for this scholarship - and I hope You think so -, please lemme go. I'm so ouutttt of this place. :(

so, it was fun, but not that fun.

I hate feeling this way! :(

we played with 'Omegle' these days.
what I meant from 'we' is me and my friends.

it was started when we were in Cindy's house for partying. then, I slept over in her house with Eveline.

so, we tricked many people.
mostly people on Omegle are just searching for love, etc. and I hate them. stupid!

when I went home, I just wanted to try to trick other people I might chat with.
and, you know what I got?
an inspiring story.

it came from someone who lives in Belgium. he's 25 and engaged.
he told me everything about his life. it's too personal, so I can't type it here. :)
at first, I was shocked, because we just met for like minutes and he just told me everything about his life, including his love-life stories which are inspiring. he's honestly honest. a man who we can barely meet these days, since all boys are jerks.

he's funny, seriously. he could make me laugh all the time.

I was hoping for an older brother since I was in Secondary, and I thought I got one. :)
he told me what I should do for future, what major I should choose later, and so on. he acted like a true brother for me.

probably I don't appreciate what God has given to me. I have to face the fact, I don't have any older brother. but I hope that I got one. :l

in the end, we exchanged email addresses. I didn't give my truly email address, because I've been lying since the first time we chatted. and if in case I know that he's such a good guy, I probably won't lie. :(

God, please forgive me for what I've done. :(